Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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