Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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