the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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