I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
