i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
