he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
