North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
