Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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