So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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