they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize