we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
