Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Sober January is a disaster.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
