Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They took my balls.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
