So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
