She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
"it" just moved
Tell her she can't have a vagina
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
