I don't think brook has ever known best
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
