This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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