Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
