Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
