you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
