You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize