Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
