I'm eating all of the evidence.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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