It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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