If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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