I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
