We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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