is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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