We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
