I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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