it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
