I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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