what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
