Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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