I'm so fucking centered right now
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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