i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
