dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
birth control should be required to get into college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
