I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how do flat chested girls get laid?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
