No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
