Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
