he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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