He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
