Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
