So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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