oh god the rape fog is back!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
