There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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