in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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