You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
