U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
