I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
