Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
