She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
