are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
