Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
