dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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