Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
