...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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